Listening to Them is Harder Than Talking To Them

My lover Ember and I have decided to go through Galina Krasskova’s Devotional Polytheist Meme questions together, over the next several months. We encourage our friends to follow along, and welcome links to other people’s answers in our comments, as well as your thoughts on our answers.

What are some of the ways you communicate with the divine?

I actually answered this one in an earlier post, Talking With Him. Go on and read that, as the rest of this post will continue from what I wrote there.

I’ll wait.

My problem hasn’t been in finding methods of communication. Divination systems are easy to learn, at least for me. Other forms of communication with the otherworld have been somewhat harder, but I’ve managed a few.

No, my problem has always been in trusting that I’m doing it right. In trusting that the responses I get are real, and not just my ego getting in the way or my imagination running away with me.

This isn’t the same thing as skepticism. Skepticism is when I sit back after a ritual and analyze what I experienced, looking for explanations other than the mystical, and asking myself whether those explanations fit more coherently into my experience of the rest of my life than the mystical do. Skepticism is fairly easy for me, and not invested with so much fear and self-doubt.

It’s always been easier for me to do this sort of thing for others than for myself. I don’t question whether or not the cards or the words that just pushed their way out of my mouth are speaking truth to someone else. The difference between the two feelings has been a source of great resentment and anger for me in the past. It sometimes feels as if the gods only want to use me to connect with others, though that’s getting less and less as I go on doing it anyway.

Ember’s answer can be found at her blog, Embervoices.

About Ashley Sarver

Ashley Sarver is a queer, nonbinary trans femme, polytheist, gamer, and disability caregiver living in the San Francisco Bay Area. View all posts by Ashley Sarver

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