He Doesn’t Ask Much. Just Everything.

Have you ever found it difficult to uphold your end of a bargain with the divinities?

Well, yes. If I wanted to be glib, I’d say something like, “If these deals were easy to keep, they wouldn’t be worth much, would they?” But that wouldn’t be entirely true, and it would be a deflection, and I’m not in the mood for either of those right now.

Honestly, I don’t think I’m very good at keeping my bargains. I can’t be completely horrible at it, as neither my mortal friends nor the gods have written me off yet. It’s one of the reasons I’m uncomfortable asking them for things. Whatever my intentions in the moment, I don’t feel I can honestly promise that I’m good for it.

And, yet, they still talk to me. I’m not sure I understand it, on a deep level, but I’m cringingly grateful.

Yeah, hold on a moment. That’s not getting us anywhere, is it? I was prepared to go on like that for some time, despite not being of the right religion for self-flagellation.

Then I remembered something from my first post here:

I do not ask you for followers or students or temples full of worshipers. I ask you only for yourself, for my passion is for you.


I am not worthy of you.

That is not for you to say. That judgment is mine alone.

This is a dialog between myself and Dionysos. His words are in italic. And they’re words I forget too often. He’s only asked one thing of me… Everything else have been goals I’ve set for myself. He’s only ever asked me for everything; all that I am, the good and the bad, the parts I like and the parts I don’t.

Yes, I often fall down on specific obligations, but that central bargain, the most important one of all…

I ask you only for yourself, for my passion is for you.

That one, I always keep.

My lover Ember and I have decided to go through Galina Krasskova’s Devotional Polytheist Meme questions together, over the next several months. We encourage our friends to follow along, and welcome links to other people’s answers in our comments, as well as your thoughts on our answers. Ember’s answer can be found at her blog, Embervoices.

About Ashley Sarver

Ashley Sarver is a queer, nonbinary trans femme, polytheist, gamer, and disability caregiver living in the San Francisco Bay Area. View all posts by Ashley Sarver

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