Melek Ta’us: Sadness


Month of Written Devotion for Melek Ta’us, the Peacock Angel

There has been sadness in my history with Melek Ta’us. Much of the time, I’d felt he’d abandoned me–or worse, never been there for me in the first place. Just sort of passing through, and I was just a convenient door for him to step through.

I read back over that, and I’m afraid it sounds rather angsty teenager. That is how it felt, though.

I took a break from direct work with the Angel shortly after I left the Feri class. There were many reasons, but it all added up to needing a break. Since then, I’ve started looking at things differently. I don’t take it all so personally any more. Why should I? Melek Ta’us is just some guy I met in class…

Well, sort of.

But the point is, he’s not the kind of god who’s going to open up all at once. He’s the kind who’s going to be coy, to show masks, to be prickly until he’s ready to open. The things that made me sad aren’t just him. They aren’t just me. And it’s not so simple as happy and sad.

Ember’s doing it, too: MWD-Sadness

About Ashley Sarver

Ashley Sarver is a queer, nonbinary trans femme, polytheist, gamer, and disability caregiver living in the San Francisco Bay Area. View all posts by Ashley Sarver

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